Emily White The majority of individuals are unaware of when they begin to feel disordered in their identities. Identity does not come blaring and crashing through. It slowly eats over years of people-pleasing, pursuit of approval, repression of feelings or living up to the expectations of all other people. You might be able to project success on the outside and feel lost on the inside. Below are 5 very understated yet effective indicators that your identity is shattered, even when you believe it’s all fine.
1. You Are Always Changing Shape to Fit In
You find you switch personalities based on the company you are in – the same group will make you more serious, another group will make you funnier, you will be more quiet at work and more vocal with friends. Although a certain amount of adaptability is normal, it is a red flag to keep changing who you are to be liked or accepted. It is that you are not a consistent core self but are acting roles of yourself to remain safe or acceptable.
2. You Are Empty When You Achieve
You achieve milestones, get promotions, praise, or hit goals but only a few hours or days after. It leaves a hollowness afterward, as of Is this it? This occurs when you base who you are on what other people say rather than what you believe to be important. You’re achieving for the version of you that others expect, not the real you.
3. Your Emotions are Muffled or Baffling
You find it hard to call what you are feeling or you are numb most of the time. When someone poses how you are, the automatic response is fine even when it is not so. Having the broken identity also tends to take away your feelings as you have been years ignoring your feelings or squashing them down to either fit in or escape confrontation. With time what you really want or need gets lost.
4. You Have No Idea What You Like anymore
Someone asks you what you prefer to do during your free time or what you like, you blank out. Activities that you liked previously are tiresome. You read hours and hours, no thing pleaseth you. It is a classic indicator that your identity has been constructed around the roles (parent, employee, caretaker, achiever) and not the person that you are.
5. You Envy Others But Aren’t Sure Why
You browse the social media and experience unbelievable and unexplainable envy towards others who appear to have discovered themselves. Their assurance, eloquence or liberty vexes you. This jealousy is usually an indicator that something within you is aware that you are not living a life that suits you. It is your inner voice that is trying to get your attention.
